re·jec·tion (r -j k sh n). n. 1. The act of rejecting or the state of being rejected. 2. Something rejected.




Rejection can be a total blow to your self-image and have you thinking all kinds of craziness! I, personally, am deathly afraid of being rejected. I guess it's because it's a feeling I haven't really experienced. I consider myself to be a very confident individual, but is it wrong of me to be hesitant to do some things because of this fear?

As a Gemini (Yes, I'm going there.), I posses a host of qualities that, to the observer, make me out to be a strong, willful, intelligent soul capable of overcoming any negative reactions to my ideas, behavior...whatever. What's not readily visible to said observer is the fact that I am a fucking nervous wreck!


We Gemini women analyze every situation 3 and 4 times and secretly worry that we aren't making people happy and that shit is the absolute worst! In turn, we end up not pursuing certain endeavors or attempting to build relationships (platonic and/or otherwise) with certain people.


This is not something you get over from one day to the next, rather an innate propensity to totally screw yourself over and be pissed about it for years to come.


I guess where I'm going with all of this is that I'm slowly realizing that it's okay to wear my heart on my sleeve and that whomever is truly deserving of this gargantuan, Gemini heart might be hiding in some realm outside of my comfort zone and it's up to me to get out there and find him. (Great.)

Tonight, during movie night at my house, my mind began to do that thing it does at the end of the day. My thoughts circled in my head faster and evermore erratically like a sandstorm of ideas ready envelope my whole brain in its fury. I thought about many things, some of which I've pored over before. But when the dust settled and the sun peeked through, it became clear to me that I need a change.

I have become the victim of my own complacency and my true personality is screaming for attention. With that said, I have decided to make a list of 10 promise I would like to keep to myself and others beginning today. These promises are drawn from different aspects of my life and are in no particular order. Here goes...

1. Find a job. Being at home all day after school is SO effing boring! 
2. Volunteer at the library. I love libraries and I know that they are facing budget cuts. I would like to do my part to help them by donating a few weekends to reading to kids or seniors.
3. Call my sister. My little sister is such an intelligent young lady. I would love to talk to her about her experiences and how she's doing in school.
4. Organize my closet. My closet is bigger than many NYCers' kitchens! It always takes me forever to find anything in there. >_<
5. Exercise. I'd love to tone up a little around my midsection. Nothing drastic. Maybe some running?
6. Learn a new language. I'm thinking Arabic. Yalla!
7. Be nice to people. I can be the biggest bitch sometimes. Life is too short to be such a meanie.
8. Take a trip. Martha's Vineyard, anyone?
9. Reconnecting with old friends. We always say how much we miss each other. I think it's time for a reunion!
10. Drink more wine! Good for you and it gets you drunk? Where do I sign up?

Okay, those are my promises. Try doing the same for you! Good luck!

It's funny how the last person you would expect to change your life is the first one to do it.

As we all know, the U.S. is currently suffering the effects of economic downturn. We, the taxpayers, are being brutalized by rampant budget cuts and gross squandering of our tax dollars in Washington. Job security rates are plummeting through the floor while unemployment is in double digits. Many people are unsure of their futures and searching for a way to ensure that their families are provided for.

After witnessing the handover of billions in bailouts, a soaring national debt, and no sign of relief in the near future, Americans are displaying a widespread mistrust of the present government and of Wall Street. People want to know one thing (Okay, maybe 2.): "How can we protect ourselves?" and "Can it be done inexpensively?"

The answer to these questions? Gold.

Shares can be purchased for anywhere between seventy and three hundred dollars per unit and there are many funds to choose from. Check out the New York Stock Exchange's GLD, a gold bullion fund, or MXI, a global reaching materials fund. Either of these funds are a great stepping stone into the gold trading world and sure to make good returns on even the smallest investment.

The History of Apple Pie

You're So Cool

This song is great.

It makes me want cupcakes.

Hear more from these guys here.

Check out these designs from the Dollar ReDe$ign Project.
Although submissions are no longer being accepted, voting doesn't end until Sept. 30.



As mentioned on their Web site, the Project's goal is to "...bring about change for everyone" by "...rebranding the US Dollar, rebuilding financial confidence and reviving our failing economy."

Pretty cool huh?

Good news! My Compadres are coming back to the States!
Super excited to see them and their brand new DIVA!

Check them out here.
------

So today wasn't a TOTAL loss...

I got all of my errands done ON TIME!

*AND* On my way home,
I purchased my favorite perfume ON SALE!

JOY!

"...Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you think everything's okay and everything's going right.
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face..."

Your audacity never ceases to amaze me.

Calling me at 7:00 a.m to tell me you're

"coming over"

What part of the game is that?

Thanks but no thanks.

Blah blah blah...

You're starting to bore me.

In 2006 you said to me:

"I wish I would have met you 2 years ago."

Four years later, those words still resonate in the void of my sleepy mind. It's at times like these, as night becomes day, that I lose control and begin to ponder the what-ifs, maybes, and woulda-coulda-shouldas. Deep down I know that nothing would be different and that you will always be "that guy" but I can't help but wonder what life would be like at your side.

I don't regret any of the decisions I have made in this life, whether they have led me to you or taken me in the opposite direction. Although I continue to have the same feelings for you, you, my love, are teetering on the brink of insanity. A relationship that was once merely physical is slowly transforming into something else. Given both of our current situations and history, it would be extremely pretentious of me to think that this change is in any way earnest, but, then again, it wouldn't make sense, after all this time, for you to have to try to gas me up (??).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I care deeply for you. I would like for you to be a constant in this science experiment life of variables. Whatever that means o_O

I catch a bone while you're doggin' me...

After a long chat with an old friend, I have decided to
listen to myself and go.

I can't say that I feel bad about my decision.
I am long overdue for some selfishness, albeit temporary.

Karma may be a bitch but I think I can take her.

It's so funny how the inhabitants of one little island can be worlds apart from each other. In the years that I've called this place home, I have been blessed to view the city from many different angles: From a fifth floor walk up on the Upper East Side to a coveted Washington Heights 3-bedroom. Whether I catch glimpses of the East River or the Hudson, dream to the lullaby of the FDR or the West Side Highway, one key thing remains the same. Manhattan can be so tribal and hung up on addresses that we fail to realize that we are all people. We love. We hate. We bleed. At the end of the day, there are more important things in this world than whether or not you have a doorman or you live in the projects. Wake up, New York. It's time.

Just when things are looking up for us...

I walk into the Central Park Precinct and *BAM!*
I lock eyes with Officer Hot-as-Hell.
Tan. Built. Beautiful.
With benefits to match (Hehe!)

Summer can be a raging bitch sometimes.

Maybe I had too much time on my hands.
Maybe I'm just in too deep.
These songs get me every time.

"There's nothing like you and I baby...
This is no ordinary love."



"You are the flame in my heart..."

Really? That's how you feel?
We've been down almost 5 years and you try to play like you're to cool for school?
Go that way! ------------------->

I hope you enjoyed it because that was the LAST phone call you will ever receive from this or any of the 4 numbers attached to my name in your contacts.

And don't let your people start calling me again either because I WILL get stupid.
Feelings will get hurt. This is Ari. You forgot?

Apology accepted =|

Introducing...

My Obsession du jour...



El Princi: Cosculluela

"I love you girl/desde que estábamos en quinto/es distinto/Ahora estoy sonando en to' los ringtones/Remember? Todo los besitos en la bemba/ Cuando me buscabas pa' que prenda..."

'Nuff said!

Lots of changes going on in my life right now.
Let's just say that I'm shaking things up.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason (Be it know or unknown).

My cousin has a tattoo that says "Reason. Season. Lifetime."
It basically means that people come into your life for a reason whether the stay for a season or a lifetime. Tell me about it!

Honestly, I'm happy in my current situation. It's uncomplicated, fun, and pretty damn comfortable. The question is: will it last for a season or a lifetime?

I'm addicted to his smoky voice and his heavy eyes.
He's the only one that keeps me on my toes.

Am I wrong? Definitely.

We know it. We don't care. This is bigger than us.

Okay so sometimes I do tend to over-analyze a lot of things, but I don't see that as being a weakness.

My tendency to dwell on the issues that affect my day-to-day life has actually allowed me to realize many of my goals and to keep me from doing things that would hinder my performance.

This is not at all to say that I have accomplished every single thing that I have set out to do. However, with a couple of fat blunts, my perseverance, and constant thirst for perfection, I'm well on my way.

This is so cliché but it's only the fuckin' truth.

Es más fácil llegar al sol, que a tu corazón.

What do you do when the person you love the most is the person you are least compatible with? Do you give up? Do you keep trying to work it out?

I don't think I can be a "work it out" type of girl. I have too many dreams to chase to be worried about what anyone else is doing.

Honestly, I'm just tired.
If that sounds defeatist, consider this my white flag.

I never thought I would have to know this feeling.

So Summer Session has started. I have class from 9-12 and I have to do 10 hours of field study.

There goes my afternoon. I mean I really shouldn't complain considering I can just go to my friend's classes and hang out there. It's really NOT as hard as I am making this seem. I'm just being lazy!

4 Minutes until my professor is officially LATE.

Thanks for wasting my time, asshole.
I see my tax dollars are hard at work.

This is me. At school. NOT taking my English final.

Luckily my professor gave me a week to do it at home and e-mail it to her.

That lady is friggin' awesome.

First Post

Welcome to my "blog". I'm using that term very loosely!

I am not one of these perpetrating-ass, pseudo-intellectual wannabe writers that are running rampant on the Internet. I'm just your regular, run-of-the-mill, homegrown, twenty-something New Yorker. I like to express myself through words and I must say that I feel a bit empowered by this whole blogging thing. I don't know if anyone will even ever read my blog, but I'm excited to share my thoughts with everyone and welcome all the weirdoes… I mean readers I can get :)

Currently, I'm lying in bed not typing up a final exam essay that I had two weeks to work on. I came down with a serious case of spring fever this year and have been running from responsibilities left and right! I know it's wrong but I can't really say that I give a damn. I'd be a total liar. I suffer from SAD (Seriously LOL!) and become a complete nutcase every year right around November. Spring is usually the time of year that I get to breathe and not feel like the world is disintegrating around me. I get into my groove and God help anyone who tries to get in my way! Anyway, I don't like to make excuses for myself and the idiocies that I'm (sometimes) guilty of. With that said, I would like to extend a big “FUCK YOU!” to my late papers, final exams, grades, and pretty much everything else I'd rather not be dealing with.

Peace.